Last and Final

Last & Final 😨

Well I can't believe that it is here, but this is my last and final email to you from the mission field. It just sounds weird honestly, I never imagined that a mission would move this fast. That here it is, in 10 days I will be back in America wearing jeans and sleeping in. It will be weird to take off the name badge, to not walk down the streets and feel like I have to approach everyone around the next corner. I am not nervous about adjusting to home life, I know however it will just brake my heart to not be able to be here, and serve these people anymore. It brakes my heart just thinking about next week.

In my final week we have a lot to do. We are preparing for the baptism of Zhen Hao. I am so excited for him. He honestly has been a huge example to me of how through the atonement of Christ All can change, and all can be made whole. So like I always do with baptism week, I will share a little about his conversion story. 

Zhen Hao met the sisters back in January. He is a student from China and has lived here for about two years. He thought the Book of Mormon was really cool because he liked learning. However the problem was that he didn't see the point of meeting, because he was a student. He almost told the sisters he didn't want want to met anymore, one of the sisters in response told him that if he really wants to find out, he needed to feel the spirit. Which in essence meant they needed to meet more. So they then they started meeting twice a week. We had a really good member named Chung (also from China) who started coming on joint teaches to help translate and explain things that Zhen Hao didn't quite understand. Through time, Zhen Hao learned to recognize the spirit, he still had troubles praying often and coming to church, but he read the Book of Mormon like a champ. They asked him to be baptized multiple times, but every time he responded that he just needed to learn more. The sisters worked so close with him trying to help him gain the faith and knowledge he wanted to have. Even In the last 6 weeks that I have come to know this man, I have see his faith and testimony grow sooo strong. He has changed and he is so ready. He is so excited for his special day and I can't wait to tell you all about it, but this time in person. Please pray for him this week.. 

I just wanted to say how grateful I am to have had the wonderful opportunity to serve here as a missionary in the Berlin Germany Mission. This wonderful privilege and opportunity has helped me in so many wonderful ways I don't even know where to begin. This mission has become the greatest conversion for my testimony of the Gospel and its principles. Everyday I watched the hand of the Lord in our work, and everyday I felt his love and immense power from above. There is no possibility that he is not there, or taking care right now of each and everyone of his children.  

This mission has been a truly humbling experience for me, some of those experiences being so sacred to my heart I will not write them in my letter today. However, through those humbling experience I have learned something truly important, and that is, What it means to be a Missionary. 

To be honest I never knew what missionaries did before I came out here. I was scared, and I was insecure about  every detail of missionary work. I thought I had to learn and do this all on my own. It tore me apart, and I struggled for the first 6 months of my mission. I constantly wondered what  I as doing here, and if I was even good enough for this job. I had forgotten one important detail about this work. One day I had a reminder that there was someone who knew exactly how I felt, and that was the Savior. It was mentioned in a Zone conference as one of President Kosak's Favorite scriptures. Philippians 4 "13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." I started relying on him more to help me though out my day, I felt his love, his guidance and his strength in my day to day life. 

I started to realize what missionary work meant. What our purpose as missionaries actually meant. As I continued to learn and grow it came clearer to me that this mission was about becoming more like Christ as we invite others to come unto him. It was clearer to me that unless we also our inviting ourselves to become more like him, there is no possible way we could invite others to do the same. It was in that moment I started adjusting my thought process of what missionary work really means. 

One quote from elder Uchtdorf describes perfectly what my stance on missionary work is. He says, "My dear friends and fellow priesthood holders, if Jesus Christ were to sit down with us and ask for an accounting of our stewardship, I am not sure He would focus much on programs and statistics. What the Savior would want to know is the condition of our heart. He would want to know how we love and minister to those in our care, how we show our love to our spouse and family, and how we lighten their daily load. And the Savior would want to know how you and I grow closer to Him and to our Heavenly Father." (On being Genuine April 2015) 

Missionary work is about ministering to those in our care, and showing love to those we teach,  by lightening their daily load, by sharing the message of the gospel, and helping them find the peace and joy through the Savior himself. Numbers, looks, statistics, programs all those things in the grand scheme of it all don't matter. They are the icing on the cake, to make it look pretty but don't contribute to the what is really on the inside. We can't measure what the savior would have done. We can't measure changed hearts  and conversion. We can't measure obedience or willingness to fallow the Savior, we can't measure how the atonement is working in our lives and that is why numbers don't matter. Missionary work is about doing what the Savior would do. Listening to the spirit, fallowing the promptings of the holy Ghost and going about cqninutally doing good as we preach the word of God. 

As my attitude changed, that is when I started to really see the Hand of the Lord in my work. I knew he was always there to help, but He was waiting for me to learn that I am just a tool in helping others feel his love. As I started noticing the miracles and changes he did help me bring so many children unto him. I am so blessed in so many ways I can not even describe my thanks to my Father in Heaven. However, I never let my self get down when I knew maybe today I only planted a seed, or maybe they are not a new investigator, but I did all that I could. 

I know now that as I trust in my savior, and just do his will he will guide me and tell me what I need to do. I have learned from leadership he always has something prepared for his children to learn, and he always has something for us to do. We have to listen and accept his will. We have to change ourselves for him. Sometimes things don't go the way we planned or sometimes we don't get what we want when we want it  , however they come in his due time. 

I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn this though. I am so grateful for the time I had here, to come to better know my savior and these people. This year and  half has been hard, and exhausting.  However, it has also been wonderful, joyous, full of laughter and love. This year and half hasn't been the best of my life but it has honestly been the best for my life. 

I know with all my heart that this is the True Church of God on this earth. That Joseph Smith is a prophet and did restore it. I know God lives and that he loves us. I know that Christ lives and he is truly wonderful. I know that I know that I know, that all we need to do is what Alma said to Helman "Look to God and Live"

I will miss these people, and their rich culture. I will miss the German language, the scenery and houses. I will miss the smell of freshly braked bread as I walk down the streets at 10 in the morning. I will miss these peoples testimonies of the Gospel and how strong they are. There is so much that I wish I could bring back to America with me. So much that I have learned from these wonderful wonderful people. 

I will miss wearing the little black badge, I will miss the spiritual setting where I learned and grew so much into the person I am today. 

This experience has been a once in a life time chance. I couldn't image my life with out these people, this country and my faith and testimony I have come to find on my mission. 

I know this isn't the end though, it is the start to a new beginning. I am so excited for the new miracles, the new memories, and to take the things I learned home with me. I am excited for my new transfer and my new area, because it will be wonderful and blessed. 

I want to give a shout out to all my wonderful companions who helped me along the way, who guided me, and who helped me be better. I have learned from all of them and they have call become dear dear friends. I don't know what my mission would be without them. 

Now for the days activities. So this will be my last email, because next Monday I will be heading over to Freiburg, where the temple is. We will spend the time there having interviews. Tuesday we will head up to the spot of land where President Monson dedicated the land. We will then go back to Freiburg and have a finisher testimony meeting. Then Early Wednesday morning we drive to Dresden where I will fly out and I arrive in DC that afternoon! it is Crazy I still sometimes cannot believe it. It doesn't feel quite real yet, but I guess it will be quite real in a week when I am on the plane home. 

You are all so wonderful, I am so grateful for your support and prayers as I have been out here. I have enjoyed such much getting your emails, and letters. Again thank you so much 

See you real soon, 

Love Sister Toma 

Service Adventures

Dear Family and Friends.

Wow I hope all of you had a wonderful wonderful week!

We for sure did. It was filled with awesome exciting adventures and lots of new people.

On Monday I went up to a little city called Halle. I have heard so much about this city from Sister Blake, and Sister Egbert. It was fun to finally experience all the wonders of the little city. I got to exchange with a Sister Treadaway. She is so sweet and so cute, it just made my day to get to spend time with her and get to know her.

Then I got to spend some time finally here in Chemnitz, where we went on another exchange with the sisters from Hohenstein. They are also amazing Sisters, and I got to spend some time with Sister Daniels. I also enjoyed getting to know her. We had an adventurous exchange. We again traveled to Sister Haertig's where this time she was in a fuss about making sure lunch was cooked. She needed a lot done in the house, so she occupied out time with little chores and task. The first task we had was to clean some lawn chairs. After we spent about 30 minutes cleaning them off and drying them, she took us to the back into this forest of a place, where there was a huge hole in the back of her shed, filled with dirt and other random things. The she hasted her self up on a little ledge as we handed her the chairs and she threw them into a pile of dirt.. So much for cleaning them. haha On our way back to the house she looked down at the grass and noticed all her walnuts fell to the ground. She started whimpering around trying to pick them all up because it was raining out side. We told her to go back in and finish lunch, and that we would pick them up. Well one hour late and three buckets of walnuts, completely drenched from head to toe we finished the job. Ha I just love service adventures. The things we do on missions lol. Then we spent the rest of the time helping her pull a wagon filled with random junk, like unopened calendars from 2006, strings, and mixed up sheet music. To the top of this hill where her Bungalow was located. What I have learned from this lesson, throw away stuff!! haha She is though the sweetest hard working old lady I have ever met though, and she will always have huge place in my heart.

We found a new investigator named Markus this week. Oh he is so cool!

We taught him the first lesson, and with in second he said, I know that is true. Then we talked about the holy ghost, how we can feel him and what is role is. As we explained the feelings we feel, he expressed to us he was feeling them right then. SO COOL!! We invited him to church, and he showed up 30 minutes early haha. He loved the meeting and even told me he went home and prayed about what we talked about, and that God did tell him it was true. What a miracle in and of itself. We are meeting with him again today to talk about the plan of salvation! :)

Ah Zhen Hao is also doing wonderful. We met with him this morning, where we talked again about what he read in the Book of Mormon. We talked about Captain Moroni and how much courage and faith he had. He loved that. I then asked him, "Zhen Hao, lets just say that you didn't finish the Book of Mormon before next weekend, would you still know that it is true?" He responded YES!! Then went on to say, he still really has the goal to try and finish it before next week, but even if he didn't he knows he needs to be and wants to be baptized!!! Ah I love him, he is so good and has made so much progress in the last 5 weeks. It just really bares whiteness from what Preach my Gospel proclaims, that The Book of Mormon combined with the Spirit are the two most powerful ways of conversation. Please continue to keep him in your prayers these next two weeks as he continues to prepare for his baptism.

 

On Saturday we had my again very last Zone Training Meeting. Ah it was so good. I just felt the spirit so strong. This zone training meeting was focused really on the atonement. It was so needed. In the past few months the missionaries have really been struggling and getting so down, I am just grateful we had two wonderful zone leaders who were obedient and enough in tune with the spirit to be able to know what these missionaries need.

We had another meeting after for the leaders where we instead of focusing on numbers and goals, we decided to just feel the spirit. We each got to stand up and bare out testimony from one of out favorite songs, where we then sang two verses from each. It brought the spirit into the room, where each and everyone of us could feel the love of God surrounding us. It was a great way to end my last Zone training meeting. I will for sure be missing those.

Well, I hope this is enough, I can't believe this is the 2nd to last email you will be receiving from me. I will try my hardest to make next weeks good. I still can't believe it, doesn't feel real. But, nah Ja don't have to worry about that for another week or so.

I have you all love, and hope you have a wonderful wonderful week.

Sister Toma